They were in the midst of a marriage that was calling for a deeper commitment. And as soon as that hit, one of them cheated.
Easier than that, both of them opted out. The first reaction of her best friend was to worry and overthink that supporting him was wrong and that she found herself between the two of them. They did nothing but point out his sorry excuses and that she was right to listen to herself, and she thought that she exactly needed that kind of support. She cried and told her friend exactly that.
The problem is, she is not satisfied with blaming him. She rather take full blame on herself, come to think of it. She knows he felt rejected all the time, because of her feelings and the way she expressed them. Regardless the reactions being assailed, what he feared the most weren’t those reactions, but her change in FEELINGS towards him. He was devastated precisely because he could not change the fact that her feelings for him had changed. He died against that. He could not stop being hurt by that.
He changed how she felt because of his inaction, funnily enough. Her reactions were a consequence of what he could not change in himself. He felt rejected and mostly blamed for not predicting calamities and being the man to prevent them. Female intuition reigned over male intuition. He did not draw the connections, and over time she felt she was taking on all the weight. The weight was waterlogged with emotion, the tidal wave was spurned by the same fight each time. He could not heal the rift and distancing gulf between them. The two of them became two different individuals, after all.
This is an addictive relationship pattern. Her interpretation of his behavior kept her externally focused, her pain was controlling him. What do you want to do for him, instead of say to him? Both of them were deserving of freedom, but the fear of the pain of losing one another kept their attachment painfully bound. He needed the core strength and validation of his worth to her; she needed reprieve from the responsibility of meeting life’s challenges at every turn.
In the end, at the recognition that each of them were inseparably different and needed their individual freedom, there ultimately came the hard decision to cut the chords and allow the rift to grow and drift them apart. What could have been done? The marriage.
Empathy is Poetry 