Author: nataliebotero

Available time to spare may not be easy to find. To carve out real intentional, dedicated time for ourselves, we come to the point of establishing Boundaries. From Boundary setting comes possible confrontation with people who resist your desire to change. Down to the next piece is the noticing of possible care taking tendencies you engage in either consciously or unconsciously. If you notice your energy is extending outward compulsively, it can simply start to be redirected to the care taking of ourselves.

SYMPTOMS OF UNMET NEEDS: The need to be somewhere else than where you are, doing what is really most important to you.

·  Worry

·  Ruminating

·  Obsession

·  Daydreaming

·  Yearning

·  Habits

·  Time-wasters

·  Difficulty focusing

·  Procrastination (and its frustrations)

·  Exhaustion

Unpacking is a process of drawing attention to unmet needs, the experience of angst, and the subtle and often unnoticed feelings that not only need clarity, but loving care. Having no weekend alone is a sign that you need one. And I want it to be anything but a time for time-wasters, but a dedicated time to listen to yourself and draw attention to the very important but often neglected interior life.

Easy enough? Not at all. In our culture there is a lot of preaching about setting boundaries, yet the actual turning point we come to is that we cannot avoid having them. This is especially tough when our boundaries are not honored by others. Establishing boundaries can be a period of meeting resistance in yourself and others. I’ve experienced many points in my own life where I was becoming overwhelmed by demands placed on me by others who I realized expected me to perform a certain way, usually out of the impression that I was available to their needs. As good as I was at it for a while, it sooner than later became completely impossible. There were damages to my physical and emotional health, and before I realized it, my life became unmanageable by my willingness to spread myself too thin. What is more, when I realized that my life depended on boundary setting, it became a grueling experience of continual confrontation, which led to arguments, anger, and the risk of losing my connection to others. I needed that time alone to unpack some of the most practical things that needed to get un-done, and what was happening was a strong breaking of my relationship dynamics. My decision to not be as available, or to cut a long conversation short by being more assertive I thought was healthy, but definitely felt awkward.

It is possible to be selfish and virtuous at the same time. Here are some questions to ask yourself where the virtues of taking time out for yourself can prove that it’s worth it to start setting boundaries.

1. What is it like to be the person who everybody relies upon?

2. When you practice changing your ways and let people know, who supports you and who resists you?

3. Write the names of the people who were supportive.

4. Vow to remember what that support felt like and keep that in mind as the way boundaries can continue to be a source of health and encouragement.

5. Watch that list of names grow longer in the positive as you persist in taking care of how you spend your time.  

Nothing to do Today  

I’m gonna keep breathing, so the filter won’t be so clogged. The wind of breath will break up the particles. So, the molecules will rest. 

There’s nothing to do today, so I’m going to take care of my health. I’m gonna do the simple things like drink in some water and health. 

The things that haven’t gotten done the days before, I will do today the best. Feeling without a morning’s meal made me hurry for no reason, so today I’ll eat my breakfast fully, and calm my stomach’s treason. 

My feet with no shoes on are on a home bound quest. My pinching nerves are a bully I can’t digest. A day off away from people at my breast. There doesn’t have to be a reason, I suggest. 

I’m working on pace 

I’m working on pace

With all the delirium  

and misunderstanding, 

I’m trying to be sane. 

Do we notice the pace 

We move in everyday? 

The closer to order, 

The closer to chaos we get. 

Let them tell you, 

Low and slow is the way 

I don’t think I can see the wisdom  

Of the world that way. 

Tiredly, I get a wired mind 

Firing a little above the sea line. 

Seclusion, in its intimacy, 

Is quietly industrious, 

Balancing at the reset for living. 

Remember your voice, your breath, 

Your feelings, your pathetic-less-ness 

Your heavy burdens— 

To hear yourself think 

After no one’s been around, 

To take the semblance of being a person  

To a profoundly satisfied sound. 

I want to call myself to relate  

To other people working on pace. 

To find the working intimates, who have discovered  

A way to feel authentic after pain. 

Here, I have particular beliefs  

That came to conclusion  

After some considerable experience  

In limitations and assuming… 

When you’re done with that love affair  

With that pattern, that lives out there  

Pour your heart out 

And do something  

For our first world problems. 

This is the wisdom  

Lifted from people who’ve solved them,

And the lives they’ve lain. 

I am going to be new around people

Sitting in the middle of the room 

As there is human traffic buzzing through. 

I’m reluctant to resign to my monkish God, 

Strong enough to do without. 

But I’m a being in nothingness  

In a social setting, going out. 

We’re always missing a party  

When we look up at the moon 

There is trial and tribulation  

On Friday nights alone 

Weekends off, 

Our bodies can’t sit still  

We cannot taste food 

Because others of us will 

On vacation 

We may have missed the boat  

We may think 

It’s because that’s all she wrote 

Escaping to somewhere  

There are only a few hours   

Sitting at desks 

We hope we’re admired 

Then, after a caffeined day, 

We go home tired 

I don’t think this song 

Can give you lottery numbers  

I don’t know what ever will 

I can only think myself  

Into the power of my will 

Complaints are music 

In the coffee stained 

Corners of an angry walled-in structure  

In groggy break room culture  

Why can’t work be play, I say!? 

If we learned to play 

Who would run the show? 

It may not get better  

Than this present moment  

It’s what we are working for 

So the others can own it 

Take our lives off the menu tray! 

Living like this may be only today 

If the working wheel hits ya, 

Then get off 

There are other ways, 

There are other ways 

Say you have a hobby 

And it turns into a gig– 

Looking at the working world  

Just as it is. 

Playing the drums for the grand shindig  

Laugh all the way to the bank 

With your ideal 

Don’t give up 

It’s not your last thing 

Do you love something? 

Cmon, do you really love something? 

Break free of a dirty business deal

Then weekends are where it starts. 

A show, some friends, 

And a fancy meal.  

And someplace to start. 

You walked in and realized you needed to serve to be fulfilled.

You were the right person for them at their lowest point.

You were significant doing it.

You were the one that listened deeply,

who was heard.

They called you to extinguish the fire.

You, in their memory, have an everlasting Presence.

strength, care, nurturing, wisdom.

The most spiritual people have the most humility.