You may think a relationship is about working hard, but you’ll find it’s about taking breaks. Rethink, rearrange and even reverse your original expectation.
Oftentimes,
Men are superior at things. Women are superior at things.
We need not let the fight to control hold us back from each other. If the conversation leads to accusation, we are ready to run without arriving somewhere. We know the fact that those things happened. In solving problems of psychological struggle, knowing what happened to us in the past and learning our theories of why we are the way we are needs to go further. Discovering our particular wounds and issues, next we’ve got to arrive to some insight on ourselves that is truthful, and next find a way to release the root of our insecurities about ourselves or ideas of what we may feel life to be like. Our “story” is one thing, but it can’t follow us our whole lives.
In the “world” of codependency, here’s a distinction: are you motivated to change to better yourself or are you motivated to change the other person? Because we exist here not without rights to represent us. We are all given Divine rights. When we thwart another’s free will or relinquish our own, we are in grave violation of Divine Will.
Your partner and you have the:
- right to exist, right to be here
- right to feel, right to your own feelings
- right to be supported
- right to happiness
- right to your own will, right to be your own inner authority, right to be respected
- right to be accepted as you are
- right to create yourself in freedom
- right to your own beliefs
When we are forced into blind obedience, we develop ‘shoulds’ in life. Our inner authority is part of the expression of our unique individuality.
The “need” for permission starts in childhood, and it is imperfect, and as an adult you feel imperfect for it. Thus, submission makes us feel safe, until someone betrays us, and we realize that we’ve betrayed ourselves. To say this would be the antidote: “God gives me the permission to do things the way I want to do them, or rather, I grant myself the permission to do things the way I want to do them, and God supports me. My originality can soar, and I learn to lean on myself more. I do not need to wait on something outside of me to give me the go ahead on a decision.”
Ask yourself before you put this in your partner’s hands: “What brings ease?” Do you see achieving ease between you and your partner as a true underlying need?
Not needing anything but the moment. Then we will naturally flow back to one another, though we have been connected the whole time.
Containers of crisis…
Peace, by creating a space, and by the deliberate effort to make it happen, let us enter the blinding light of the portal.
Empathy is Poetry 