What happens in our earliest years affects us into adulthood. What about the experiences we had in school, our friendships, our teachers? Our past is never perfect and our memories not always clear, but you can probably remember a teacher who really made a difference for you, or a few perhaps. What did they do that made the difference for you?
Just as much as I enjoyed my favorite teachers, I also remember the tough ones significantly. Looking back as an adult now, I realize their brilliance and that mistakes were made, and we made it through, anyway. If I had the courage to go back myself, as I’ve often thought about, I want to wear the banner that says, “empathize first” and “It’s a no fault matter here.” With the great job teachers do and the incredible people they are, I’m hoping the ideas and new approaches that are defined by empathy helps them keep going and keeps their kids, well, happy.
Sensitive is a Noun
There is sensitivity in every child and every adult; there is a Highly Sensitive Person in all of us. If you don’t see it in just about everyone when you understand that sensitivity exists and how it is expressed, masked, or repressed, you’ll gain insight as to who your kids really are and what they are becoming. You have a lot to do with that, too.
What is sensitivity? What are its gifts and challenges? How might we see sensitive traits in a child and an adult? Well, let’s just say everyone expresses and contains their sensitivity in their own way. Some become aggressive to protect themselves from being hurt. Some are very shy and withdrawn to protect themselves from being hurt. How can you prevent that type of wounding from perpetuating in an otherwise innocent child/individual? With insight into how you may be adding to it, for starts.
The mistakes of your kids/students are learning opportunities. When we punish a child, we need to examine if punishment is the best option. Learning from mistakes in a no-fault way is a way to preserve a healthy sensitivity into adulthood. There needs to be a “no-fault” compassionate approach to teaching WITH kids in the classroom. Instead of assigning blame to your prime suspect, you can engage the rest of the class in understanding that what took place is a portrayal and a lesson in life, not an actual crime. Imagine if kids had the opportunity to process the biggest learning they get from school, being their behavior.
When there is acceptance and patience, the teacher is teaching patience and acceptance in the child. Their response to a no-fault classroom environment versus a consequence-based blame and shame through punishment model, is engagement and greater peace. The discipline isn’t relaxed, it is transformed and used as learning, not control. Kids can grow, learn, reason, and breathe. The teacher can utilize effective behavior management skills and engage their students while the individual in that child gets to encourage the individual teacher.
There are few better encouragements than play time! During a play game, consider what an exercise like improv teaches. Kids can act out their most creative problem-solving skills themselves, guided by the teacher who makes sure behavior is part of the curriculum. The kids work to resolve conflict with each other. In other words, behavioral issues in the classroom are excellent teaching opportunities for kids to learn conflict resolution. “No-Fault Improv:” to demonstrate peaceful problem solving in a classroom that is truly a no-fault zone, a safe place for kids that will bring back good memories when once there were hard times that they had a CHANCE to resolve. In your classroom.
Empathy is Poetry 