Empathy Exercise: How do we truly listen to each other?
Exercise in Communication in 5 parts.
Start with finding a partner. Sit across from each other and hold a space for this 5 part communication. We can learn to increase an empathic connection to one another.
1. Sit facing your partner and make steady eye contact in complete silence.
2. Now one partner will talk about a painful experience with a person in their life that they didn’t have the chance to have a conversation with that would have reconciled a misunderstanding that resulted in hurt feelings. The assigned listener will listen attentively with eye contact and genuine facial expressions, but will not talk or interrupt. Then switch turns.
3. Now, each person will take turns reflecting back to the speaker what they heard them say.
4. Next, you will try to reflect back to them what they may be specifically needing and feeling, listening to the feelings and needs of the person underneath what was said.
5. Now, empathize with the person from their past by speculating what that other person’s feelings and needs may have been.
Notice the difference. Did each person benefit from being held in a compassionate space? Did they get their need to be heard fulfilled? Did they gain healing and insight in identifying the core need that was left unexpressed from their past?
This is a method based on a model called Peer-Reevaluation Counseling. It is a process that values the release of emotional discharge that is needed while we process old baggage by speaking in a safe space. Then a reframe of the struggle helps shed light on the feelings and needs of the person experiencing the hurt. The best thing is Peer-Reevalution can be done by anyone! Your best friend, a kind group member and someone you may call an empathy buddy!
We are all Healers. We all have the ability to heal each other. We all want to be Heard and we all need Love. It is not easy but it is worth it. First in our families, our relationships, and then with the wider World.
Empathy is Poetry 