We can Shine The Light of Consciousness on our true feelings and needs when we practice Empathy. We, as humanity, have the same universal needs and feelings. It is worth the time you take to find out what your unique needs are as an individual.
We have positive feelings when our needs are met. We experience negative feelings when our needs are not met. Language, in either mood set or feeling, can set up life-affirmative experiences or set off opportunities for growth and discussion to understand conflicts.
When we make assumptions and judgments, we can experience misunderstandings, which cause hurt feelings, sadness and drama. You can see how our language is limited and even ingrained with hostility and criticism. After upsets, we all want to return to a semblance of emotional homeostasis. We come back. We eventually want to steer our language away from accusatory statements and judgments because the people we speak to will close down and shut off from truly connecting. They can interpret your message as meaning they are not good enough when we say, “You did this to me.”
There is a difference between feelings and thoughts. Thought words that we mistake for feelings are such: For instance, saying “I felt abandoned by you,” implies that the other person did something to you and can be interpreted as a criticism. If we say that “I feel hurt because I really need safety and trust in this relationship to feel secure.” This can lead to empathizing with the other and others, while not making it the responsibility of the other to cause your feelings. For instance, they can then say: “I’m sorry that when I left on a trip without inviting you that you felt that way. I was only honoring my need for space and renewal at that point in time.” Both people just needed to communicate to fulfill their needs. Nothing was personal. It was just a misunderstanding that the first person internalized, when nothing another person does is really personal.
Turning to paradigm shifts when you find you are internalizing blame or any other unpleasant feeling may be to look at situations as opportunities to enhance your self-esteem by rising to the challenge of meeting and loving the conflict. Empathic communication and conscience makes relationships conscious! Enjoy consciousness through the Light of connection to Love. Boundaries yet included!
Empathy is Poetry 